Fire In a Theater. The banking industry meltdown.

We’ve all heard the old saying about screaming ‘FIRE’ in a crowded theater. Even sheep can be dangerous if they are coaxed into stampeding.

But what of the reverse?

What are we to do when we see a filled-to-capacity theater slowly smoldering in flames, while its audience sits entranced by a hilarious movie featuring a talking pig in lipstick from Alaska? (Yes, I said it – and I meant it)

People’s lives are at risk. Much hangs in the balance. Short of panicking people, what are we to do as the flames begin to spread?

I suppose we could turn up the house lights and send the crusty old owner up to the stage to make a polite speech about the inherent strength of the building – and his belief that it is fundamentally strong – despite the fact that he blocked any attempts at meeting the fire codes.

Or, perhaps we could give away free popcorn – and call it a stimulus package – and hope people buy soda to throw at the fire?

Or, we could calmly explain to people that they have not only lost their initial investment, since the film will not be shown in its entirety, but, we are also charging people for the free barbecue - as they get burned – and using the extra money to build another theater up the street for the owner.

Perhaps we should wait until the fire spreads to the Asian market next door – and the snooty European part of town – and then once things get nice and smoky and chaotic, start a war with a rival theater in town for their naked act of aggression?

Maybe we should just lay off the theater staff – put an “out of business” sign up - call it a correction – and hammer shut the doors while the audience watches the film.

Maybe we can blame it on the ‘greedy’ audience? After all, no one promised them they would be safe, and, no one forced them to purchase the tickets, and, whose fault is it that the theater was so overcrowded? People should know their limits and not strain ‘the system’ with their selfish desires. Maybe we can press charges against them – and act fast to stop them from voting based on the obscure “people with less than 50% of their skin left may not vote” law.

Just how bad should it get before SOMEONE admits it’s a fucking fire – and puts the safety of the audience first?

We shall see.

Capitalism is burning to the ground. We are all caught inside. Like the hole in the ground at ground zero – 7 years after 9/11 - let us see what monuments people care to erect for us once this scorched-earth policy of economic gluttony consumes every last drop in every last rind of hope the world has left.

Let us see what the history books say about a society so utterly consumed with itself that it literally spontaneously self-combusted – and dragged a hapless world down with it.

And let us see what sustenance awaits the poor – the subsistence-level citizens of this world - when the last pillars of capitalism fall - and the wells run dry - and food can no longer make it to the market – and engines sputter and stop. Let us see what pithy asides Sean Hannity will make as the famine spreads.

What will historians say?

I suspect they will say we were going too fast, ignoring the iceberg warnings, claiming our ship was unsinkable - and the bestest in the world. They will say we were the richest most damned people on earth.

God help us.

“FIRE!!!!”

-- JohnA